What is my life?

I'm in a strange mood today, and I feel like I want to talk about it with you. I know I haven't talked about my first day at work but we'll get to that later. Right now I just want to talk about my mind.

It's funny because I wrote that and now I have no idea where to start. I guess I should start by saying, this is a mood I experience quite a lot. Usually on a Sunday, when I have time to stop and digest things. Which sounds odd, but I feel like I never stop moving. So it's nice to sit back and think about things every once in a while.

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That is what I wrote yesterday, I never did quite get around to finishing it because I find it very difficult to put my feelings into words sometimes.

Like seriously, dude I've not seen or heard from in 3 years suddenly strikes up a conversation, WHAT IS THAT?!  This is the hardest conversation I've had in a long time, I don't usually have to think about what I'm going to say, before saying it.

Well. Today has been an interesting day to say the least. Very enlightening. Like all I can think of to say right now is

KSJHFBNILRJKNSGLISUERHANAIJBGIRVALO;RLKVLIA

and

WHY NOW? WHY NOT THREE YEARS AGO JOE? GAH.


I am not equipped to process this.

In other news, today Alex told me he's bi, I never knew this. He also told me that Sam asked him how to talk to girls cause he does it so easily and so he said "It's easy because I get instantly friendzoned". Which made me laugh so hard, mostly because it's true. Sad, but true.

Okay so I've been talking to Joe for about 4 hours now. He just went. And I still don't know where the fuck it came from. And why he picked me to talk to. I mean seriously, he basically ditched me for my best friend, who didn't turn out to be a great friend, I mean I was pretty pissed at her, considering she knew I liked him, and you know, the fact that he was MY friend. I guess I'm still a bit pissed about that. I probably should be over it by now but whatever, I haven't spoken to her since. And it's like, he's talking to me, and telling me he made a huge mistake, and that he picked the wrong Sophie, and it's just like, yeah that's great. Would've been good to know three years ago, you know what I mean? And he had the nerve to be pissed at me for not talking to him. What was there to say? "Hey apparently you like my friend more than you like me. Awesome." Y'know? And the fact that neither of them even bothered to tell me. I had to find out about it when they started kissing in front of me. I think I had a right to be pissed at both of them. Of course I could never say that to him, because well, it's been years, and I shouldn't still be hung up on it, I mean who holds a grudge that long?

I'm beginning to discover that I do.

I don't know, I guess talking to him again is bringing it all back. But why is he talking to me? And why does it seem like he's flirting? When he has a girlfriend? Ugh I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.

And apparently I'm meeting up with him next week. So that will be nice and not awkward at all.


Just.

What is my life? Seriously.